Beige Beginnings

‘Remind me again why we’re doing this?’ Thirty-three-year-old Skate asks their partner of six years as they peer through the glass panel of the community room door. The room’s stark contrast to their expectations is disappointing but Skate has never been one to back down from a challenge.

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‘Because you said we needed more sparkle in our lives, that we needed to get off the couch and have more fun.’ Jamie tries to nudge Skate out of the way. ‘Something about less block more cock.’

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Skate chortles and steps back from the door giving Jamie a clear view into the room. ‘That does sound like something I would say.’

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‘Look at them. Look at the room. It’s all so … beige.’ Jamie sighs dramatically and turns away from the door. He leans against the wall opposite and crosses his arms. ‘I don’t want to do this they’re sitting in a row with their hands on their laps like they’re protecting their junk except for the dude in black on the end he’s got his legs spread hands by his side what’s that telling us is he more open than the others or does he not give a fuck he looks bored do you think he’s bored and what’s with the old guy is he the director we should rethink this we should—

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‘You’re spiralling.’ Skate places their hands on Jamie’s shoulders and presses down gently. ‘I know it’s not what we expected but we’re here now, we might as well go through with it.’

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‘This is all because Ace asked if we were ready to start a family and I said yes. I knew you’d freak out it’s okay if you’re not ready we can wait but I don’t want to be too old so if you need more time you have to tell me so I can adjust my thinking.’

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Skate rests their forehead against Jamie’s. ‘Take a breath, babe. This has nothing to do with us starting a family. If you’re ready, I’m ready.’

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‘Really?’ Jamie sighs.

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‘You bet.’ Skate kisses Jamie softly. ‘But first we have to get through this shit show.’

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Jamie noisily pushes air through his pursed lips. ‘Okay.’ He nods.

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‘You sure, babe?’ Skate places a hand on Jamie’s cheek.

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‘Together forever. In sickness and stupidity. Isn’t that what we promised each other?’

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Skate laughs. ‘This definitely meets the criteria for stupidity but it’s not the worst idea I’ve had.’

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‘No, not the worst but the night’s still young.’

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‘I love you, James Jeffery Johnson.’ Skate straightens and holds out their hand. Jamie takes it and pushes off the wall with his butt. ‘We’ve got this.’

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‘Next!’ Someone calls out from inside the room.

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Jamie adjusts the waistband of his pink dress and Skate pushes their thick black glasses up their nose.

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‘Time is fleeting, Janet.’

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‘It’s just a jump to the left, Brad.’

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Skate and Jamie sashay into the room with their heads held high and laughter on their lips.